


A noisy mind is a productive mind.

by That_Jett_Kid



Series: D.I.D Sander-Sides [2]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Abuse Mentions, Dissociation, Dissociative Amnesia, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Multiple Personality Disorder, did, kinda angsty?, non-con mentions, sander sides - Freeform, thomas sanders - Freeform, very minor self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 10:53:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12107154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_Jett_Kid/pseuds/That_Jett_Kid
Summary: The systems day started their day, as usual, Logan woke up and went through the morning routine. It was supposed to be a lazy day, they had so little to do just a few chores.But they had forgotten about their therapist appointment.Virgil had TOLD Pat not to say anything. Why did no one listen to him?





	A noisy mind is a productive mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Full disclosure I am not apart of a system if you are and are unhappy with the way I've represented DID, please do not hesitate to tell me.

Logan stretched his arms above his head, secretly reveling in the pop of his joints. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes once more, and then reached for his glasses that usually sat beside the bedside table. He was generally the one who woke up in the morning, all the other absolutely loathed waking up, whereas Logan much preferred to start the day early, there was only a limited number of hours.

 

After a few moments of groping for his glasses, he decided that he was going to kill Roman, this had his name all over it. The others respected the fact he needed his glasses to see but Roman always mocked him for it and enjoyed hiding them on him- oh wait never mind they were there after all.

 

With a deep breath Logan got up and started with the daily routine, shower, brush and dry hair, medication, and multi-vitamins, rubbing in the moisturizer Roman insisted they used, getting dressed, going downstairs and eating breakfast, then he would brush his teeth. After all, this had been done he would begin any tasks that needed to be done, any chores or errands.

 

As he began tidying up the kitchen, the leftovers of Virgil’s late night snacking evident, he realized he was no longer alone.

“What are you doing Patton?” He asked out loud, they could, of course, communicate internally but when alone it didn’t matter if he spoke aloud or not.

 

_‘Nothing to worry about Logan just checking in on things, what time is it anyway?’_

 

Logan glanced down at the watch they wore at all times, “Eight-fifteen. Why?”

 

‘ _Well Virgil was fronting last night, and you know how late he stays up. The bodies gonna get tired quicker since you’re up so early.’_

“Patton, I know that you want to watch the cartoon network special at midday, you don’t need to resort to excuses to rest.” Logan rolled his eyes as he finished wiping down the kitchen tabletop. Now that that was done he could move onto the washing that needed to be folded.

 

‘ _Must you two make such a ruckus at ungodly hours in the morning?’_

_‘Good morning Roman!’_

_‘If it were truly good, I would have been able to sleep in!’_

_‘Oh come one Roman! Don’t you ever get tired of sleeping?’_

_‘I can’t tell if that was a dad joke or a genuine question.’_

 

Logan sighed as the two continued to banter, it could get rather noisy so they all mostly seemed to have de-sensitized themselves to the constant chatter and remarks. There, of course, could be quite days, but unlike of what he had heard of in different systems, everyone seemed pretty invested in remaining close to the surface. Especially in their later years of life, they were much more passive in their earlier years. Only fronting or saying something when absolutely necessary. This, of course, was before any of them were sure of what they actually were. When Thomas thought they were just imaginary friends that refused to go away.

 

No in the past they had only remained on the edge of consciousness, only fronting when Thomas needed it, pushing him back as to allow him to hide away from what was happening.

 

Realising that his mind was drifting, Logan pulled himself back into reality, now wasn’t the time for these thoughts to drift. He still had so much to do.

 

Thomas and Virgil woke, as he was halfway through folding the clothing, adding to the morning chatter.

 

 _‘Why do we even have so many of the same shirt?’_ Virgil grumbled as Logan placed the fourth Steven universe shirt into the folded pile.

_“Because it's a cool shirt!’_

_‘Yeah, what if we want to wear it multiple days in a row? We don’t want to be smelly now do we?’_

_‘YES, but we shouldn’t have one in the first place.’_

_“_ And why is that Virgil?”

_‘Its pink. People clearly judge us every time one of you put on that shirt. The last thing we need to is to draw attention to ourselves.’_

_‘Okay J.D-lightful; One: pink is very flattering on the body, and surely your masculinity is not so fragile it could be shattered by a shade of color? And TWO: Thomas is literally making videos all the time and drawing attention to himself!’_

_‘Which I am totally against.’_

_‘Virgil, we don’t ask you to wear the shirt, all we ask is that you stop being such a buzzkill and let US wear the shirts.’_

 

Logan sighed, could he not have a day where he didn’t have to stop everyone from bickering. It was his job to make sure all the responsibilities required of them were taken care for. Whether it be through fronting and doing it himself as he was now, or reminding the others. But it has seemed as though his responsibility has also grown into babysitting everyone. Roman once commented that Logan was the most maternal, making sure everything was taken care of for his system, and that included sorting out squabbling matches. He didn’t mind, in fact, most of the time he enjoyed it- but it was tiring work.

 

“Would your three people stop your nonsensical bickering? Roman, Patton, Thomas are all highly invested in that children’s cartoon and it brings them all much emotional comfort as well as a way to wind down, and slight representation through the fusion characters. Virgil, I understand your grievances, and while they are understandable. There’s nothing that can be done, you as much as I am aware of how refusing to let them have their fun can be potentially harmful. From an objective standpoint, I can further deduce that very little harm would come to us in wearing the shirt, the most that could possibly happen would be someone said something rude. Which I’m sure you are more than aware that that is something I or any of you can handle.”

 

Logan pinched the bridge of his nose; he could feel a headache coming on. He could feel that his monologue of sorts had placated the system. Placing the folded washing away he stretched his back then glanced at his watch. 11.30 already? He hated the way time would pass by in an instant, he wondered if it was more so due the system, but then again he had heard the phrase ‘ not enough hours in the day’ many times. No matter that didn’t change the fact that now Patton was pushing to forward, eager to watch his cartoon special as well as being out.

 

With a roll of his eyes, Logan sunk back in, allowing Patton to take control. Thankfully they had nothing scheduled to do today, so he wouldn’t need to worry about reigning Patton in, a regular occurrence.

 

Patton beamed, oh it was so good to be fronting! He hadn’t had the chance to be out too much this week, the system was just too busy and his ‘outbursts’ weren't appreciated. He understood, of course, it was hard being a system and sometimes Pat made things worse… But hey, he loved everyone still! And it wasn’t like he never go to the front, sometimes he just didn’t get a chance.

 

He glanced at the watch. 11.40. Hmmm a quick simple lunch and then it was cartoon time~

 

As he walked down the stares he negotiated on what to eat.

Thomas was insisting that cereal was fine.

Roman wanted some elaborate sandwich

Logan stated that he didn’t care just so long as it was healthy.

Virgil, while hanging back, still muttered quietly that a grilled cheese would be nice.

 

After some discussion, the system ended on a grilled ham, cheese and tomato sandwich. Nice.

 

Only Thomas admitted he couldn’t cook, the others insisting that they could. But they all knew Pat’ was the only one who could properly cook. It was just something that he loved, so it seemed that he always unintentionally ended up fronting when they cooked or as least co-hosting. It was one of the few times the others really asked him to be out. Not since their childhood.

 

Well, it doesn’t matter now anyways. Pat’ hummed as he sliced the cheese and tomato, placing it into the press.

 

It had taken longer than expected, but he finally finished cooking. Placing the steaming sandwich on the smallish plate Patton glanced at the watch. 11.58.

 

OH SHOOT! His Cartoons!

 

Picking up the plate and walking as quickly as possible, Patton sat carefully on the couch and turned the TV onto cartoon network.

 

Thomas and Roman pushed forward, becoming co-conscious as they too watched the show. Logan had sunk down to his room; tired and deciding that everything would be fine for a few hours. Virgil slunk back a little, not wanting to watch the show but not wanting to not be present, he hated not knowing what was happening.

 

_We are the crystal gems~_

At 1.30 an alarm startled all those present, Virgil flinching significantly but not saying a word.

 

**Alarm: Therapist session in half an hour.**

**Notes: leave now.**

 

Sighing Patton turned the TV off and rushed to get some shoes on. Arguing with everyone as he did so.

 

 _‘Pat’ let me handle this._ ’

 

“No Thomas its fine, besides Roman and Logan have seen our therapist. I wanna turn.”

 

_‘And you will Pat, but I didn’t trust her yet. She could hurt you.’_

 

“Oh stop being such a worry wort Virgil, why would anyone want to hurt us?”

 

_‘Oh let Dad see her, besides I think after her stare down with Logan it’ll be good to show her some friendliness!’_

 

“Thank you, Roman.”

 

Virgil continued to yell at Pat’ to let Thomas front but without Logan to make him, and Thomas didn’t seem to mind that much, he was even raising an eyebrow at Virgil in the mindscape, unsure of why he cared so much. See?! Thomas was _the host_ , he seemed okay so it was all fine!

 

Making sure to prove himself to Virgil Patton made sure to drive very safely, like how he did when they first learned and were still building confidence. Virgil wanted nothing more than to surge forward, he knew he could do it, he had done it before. But Virgil knew better than to do that unless absolutely necessary. So he watched and waited, for all he knew it would be fine, hopefully, be all fine.

 

As they entered the office Pat’ smiled brightly, he was never the best at acting like Thomas but he could do it. It's all coolio daddieoo.

 

The receptionist smiled back and after a minute or so ( according to the watch) she informed Patton that Doctor Lisa was ready to see him. He thanked her and walked into the familiar-ish room. He glanced around trying to act as if he had been in here before, it rang a few bells but other than that he was at a loss. The woman seated in a light blue seat, he assumed was Dr. Lisa.

 

“Good afternoon Thomas,” she smiled nicely, showing her teeth as she did. Pat’ returned the smile and greeting sitting down on the lounge seat adjacent from the doctor. He noticed a boxing bag(?) hung in the corner and wondered what it was for.

 

“So how’s your week been?”

 

“It's been great, oh we worked on new video ideas with Joan and Taylen and Thomas even cooked some pasta!”

 

“So I’m not talking to Thomas right now, and who you'd you be.”

 

‘Stupid, stupid, stupid!’ Virgil reprimanded, beginning to push his way forward ever so slightly.

 

“Oh! Sorry slip of the ol’ tongue there. I mean I cooked some pasta! And let me tell you I did not do a shabby job, the first batch was a little spicy but-“

 

“-What’s the word for becoming an adult?”

 

“Adultery! Now as I was saying about the pasta-“

 

“I don’t think we’ve met Patton, it nice to see you.”

_‘PATTON HONESTLY?! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE TOLD YOU? HOW DID SHE KNOW THAT ANYWAY?’_

_“_ Oh shucks, how’d you know it was me?” Patton leaned forward curious, trying to block out Vigil who was pushing even further, forcing the others behind him.

 

“Thomas helped me with ways of identifying everyone, it's okay, you don’t have to pretend to be him.” She shifted in her seat, uncrossing and crossing her legs. “This is a safe place.”

 

‘See Vigil, she says this is a safe place! No need to worry.’ Patton internally chirped.

 

“So I’m going to go over the same questions I asked everyone thus far in their first session. Tell me about yourself.”

 

Patton beamed and began to go over everything about himself that he could think of off the top of his head. His favourite colour was light blue, he loved cartoons and had just been watching a really good Steven Universe special, Oh he also cooked for everyone, he was nicknamed Dad by the group – it had started as an tease but the nickname stuck and he honestly loved it because he loved caring for everyone. And he didn’t get to be out much because he argued with Logan a lot. Aaaaand that was all he could think of.

 

Dr. Lisa smiled jotting things down in her notebook. Virgil was on edge.

 

“And what are your memories of Thomas’s childhood like?”

_‘Shut up Patton.’_

 

“Oh! it was fantastic! We had so many friends! We basically were never lonely!”

_‘Shut UP Patton.’_

_“_ I mean, Thomas’s parents worked a lot, but we got to stay with the neighbors, the didn’t have any kids but they were really super sweet and-“

 

_‘I SAID SHUT UP!’_

Virgil surged his way forward, forcing everyone down into their rooms, warning them to not come out until he said so. Locking them in the metaphorical boot of the metaphorical car. He automatically latched his fingers into his forearm, the pain not only grounding him but punishing the body. They could not discuss that.

 

Dr. Lisa raised an eyebrow, tilted her head. It was clear that they had just switched. Patton’s large smile had dropped, eyes cooling into icy glares. He stopped midsentence, fingers clamping into his forearm. He almost resembled Logan, cool and analytical. But no there was something different.

 

“And who might you be?”

 

Silence. Virgil refused to talk to the woman. She was going to get them hurt.

 

“Vigil?” She took a stab at it, this was the only other option out of any of the alters Thomas had told her about. But there could always be alters or fragments that even Thomas didn’t know about.

The way his shoulders stiffened informed her that she was correct.

 

“You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to.” She offered flipping over a new page in her little notebook.

Virgil’s eyes narrowed. “in fact, I’ve wanted to ask you, how do you feel about how everyone talks about you? I’ve noticed you’ve been labeled a ‘bad alter’. I don't believe that, what are your thoughts on this?” It was a shot in the dark, a prodding, and personal question but she had dealt with people like Virgil all the time, they refused to talk, he refused to trust. She figured to ask a larger question he didn’t want to answer, then ask a small one. He was much more likely to talk.

 

Virgil surprised her.

 

“How the fuck do you think I feel? Would you like to be vilified by everyone you protect? They have _no idea_ what I’ve done for them, I don’t want them to know. But you would think they would just appreciate me for the simple shit I do, warning them about people who could hurt them. So how the fuck do you think I feel?”

 

He wanted to continue, to rant, but he realized he had already said too much. His fingers dug deeper. He slammed his mouth shut.

 

Dr. Lisa sympathetically nodded, dotting things down in her handy dandy notebook. “ I can imagine it would be hard.” Normally when people never stopped smiling, it freaked Virgil out; their smiles always hiding something malicious in his mind. But this Lisa chick didn’t seem to create that reaction, she almost reminded him of Thomas’s mom. She cared, Thomas’s mom had always reassured him that ‘he could always tell her anything.’ But Virgil knew he couldn’t. He couldn’t tell anyone.

 

It was their little secret. Just between them.

 

“That's right don’t tell anybody, or you’ll get hurt. Besides no one would believe you anyway.”

 

It was their little secret.

**Author's Note:**

> Come scream with me on my tumblr @that_jett_kid


End file.
